If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it hurts more in the daytime
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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