well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
