You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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