Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize