GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
