K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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