I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
