he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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