i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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