Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
