we have officially mastered the walk of shame
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
