I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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