3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
