Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
