Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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