Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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