I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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