1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
