Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
