Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i think i have herpe
just one?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
