I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
