you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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