wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
