never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
