i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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