just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
