Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
