Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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