It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
