I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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