I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
