Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize