Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
