I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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