Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
