I CAN MOONWALK!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
