you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
