remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
