so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Green mimosas i think yes
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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