Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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