I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize