is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
