I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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