I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
