i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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