kristin has been a bad kristin
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
