if you like me you must not know who I am
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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