So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
