Got a toothbrush?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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