I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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