that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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