I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize