my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
