New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize