God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.