Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
