I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.