these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.