Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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