I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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